Gender Roles and Equality

Natalia Wingo

Mr. Jorgensen

Writing 1010

12/7/15

Gender Roles and Equality

Gender roles; we know all about them. Most people live by the roles that are set on them even if they don’t know that they are. Now, with that said, what would happen if people decided to not follow their set roles? I will take this moment to say that I am not against gender roles, per se. In fact, gender roles are in place because men and women naturally have very different strengths and weaknesses. But just because the roles are different, does not mean that our equality should be different.Which is exactly what is happening in most cultures to this day as the roles have become so prominent that women will never gain equality with men.

But do gender roles affect equality in America? Yes. Yes they do. The roles may not be as prominent here as they are in other countries but they are still here, and they affect our daily lives. In fact, based on the information found on the gender pay gap, News Week explained that women earn only $0.78 compared to the man's full dollar. And it doesn’t matter where she is working--whether it be fast food or a doctor’s position--she will earn less than her male counterparts, even if she has a PhD. Also found in the article was the fact that the gap is different in each state, as Wyoming will take over a hundred more years for the gap to go away. This chart tells the year in which the pay gap is expected to close. Wyoming’s gap is expected to close in the year 2159, while Utah is in the top 4 with the gap closing in 2102, and Florida leading the way with the gap closing in 2038. Though Florida is much closer than Wyoming and Utah, 2038 is still a long ways away.

Now, people will probably say that this paper is much too biased to be taken seriously--and it is a little bit biased as I myself am a female--but I will say that men do not have easy lives either. Imagine a scenario where you are a man, you live in a household with your father who is tough and wants you to do construction work or some other job that needs toughness. But, you are not strong, you can’t lift weights very well and you like doing people’s hair. You want to make a career for yourself that involves salon work, but you know that if you tell your father he will basically disown you for wanting to do something that isn’t “manly.” And if you tell your friends, you’ll be ridiculed and called “gay” even though you’re not. Why do men go through this ridicule just for wanting to do something they love? In today’s society, men must be strong, manly, and able to take care of women. But, men can not possibly be as strong as they make themselves out to be.

Recently I had the pleasure to discuss in a group the trials of growing up male. Being as, I’ve never heard the other side of things--only knowing what I and other girls are thinking--I was absolutely intrigued learning that men are usually not as stoic as they seem to be and they don’t like the high standards that most women hold, including myself. And after this discussion, I felt very guilty for setting my standards as high as they are, as men try as hard as they can with their hidden nervousness to impress women. And while we know that men are often forced to be emotionless, I don’t think most women know that many are told to not cry at a young age. One of the men in my group explained that he wasn’t allowed to cry by the age of eight. And though we know that we most likely can’t stop this way of thinking, me and the other women in the group told him that it is okay to show emotions, that it’s healthy to show emotions, and that women often prefer a man that isn’t afraid to show his emotions. Another one of the men in the group also mentioned that sports is the universal symbol for men. If they don’t know anything about sports then they will be ridiculed even more. So men will often pretend to understand what is going on in the sport they are watching even if they don’t know what’s going on. And with fashion, they are expected to dress like the other guys, but not seem like they care about the way they look otherwise they’ll be ridiculed once more. Basically, if men do anything that isn’t thought of as “masculine” then they are automatically “gay.”

Now, this doesn’t mean that growing up as a woman is any easier. I was fortunate in that I grew up in a household that promoted individuality; but there are households around the world that do not want you to be yourself and would rather you had friends over a sense of self. But the problem with this is if you don’t know yourself how are you supposed to make friends that work well with you? Because I had grown up knowing I was an individual I was always different from the other girls in my schools, and because I was different I had very few friends; at a young age, having few friends is scary and lonely, but when I got older I stopped caring about what the other girls thought about me and I only became good friends with a few people. People that were good for me and didn’t try to change my looks or personality in any way. If a girl doesn’t think of herself as an individual she will most likely gravitate towards people who all look and think in similar ways, namely the “popular” crowd. But if you don’t fit in you will get made fun of, and girls can be very cruel in very passive ways. Girls almost always have an underlying sentence underneath the one they actually said. Imagine you’re a girl now, and another girl passes you in the hall. As she walks past you she says, “Nice shirt.” Now that sounds like a compliment until you analyze the face she made, the face of a girl mocking another girl. Which means her, “nice shirt” comment really meant “What they hell are you wearing? Why would you wear that ever?” Not all girls have a second underlying meaning to their words, but there will be times when that happens and it’s difficult, especially for girls with low self-esteem.

Now what does this have to do with gender roles? Well, women and men alike have to follow the crowd, live up to the roles set on them, otherwise they’ll get ridiculed. We may hate the roles we have to live up to, we may want to ignore the roles entirely, but humans are naturally afraid of being made fun of. That’s why people wear similar clothes, that’s why women wear makeup, that’s why men get jobs that involve using their hands. It’s this unending chain of people wanting to end the roles but not being able to because of fear. This brings me to the question of what would happen if gender roles didn’t exist? Gender roles most likely came to being through the fact that women were often not allowed to do anything and had to stay home and take care of the kids while men got jobs. So now, people still think women are meant to stay at home to take care of the kids while men go off to work every morning from nine to five. Though women do get jobs now, there are still the “get back in the kitchen” jokes, and those probably won’t go away for a long time. But they will; at some point, most likely in the far future, the jokes will go away and women can get any job they want. Now we need to work on allowing men to get any job they want. Most men don’t want to be teachers because that’s a “woman’s job,” or they won’t be librarians, hair dressers, or any other “female jobs.” Women can get jobs as lawyers or doctors, but a man can’t be a librarian? So what would happen if men and women could get the jobs they want? Though men and women naturally have different strengths and weaknesses, we should be able to have equality even if our roles are different. Roles will most likely never go away, but if they did, the world would be completely different as we would see more women working construction and more men working in salons. But the gender roles are a natural part of this world, they can’t go away.

But this leads to the unfair amount of double standards in today’s world. There are so many things directed to girls now saying, “You’re beautiful just the way you are.” but then people go around saying that you’re not beautiful unless you look like a Victoria’s Secret model. But to look like a VS model, we must be anorexic thin, with ten pounds of makeup on our faces, and fake spray tans. It’s not healthy to look like VS models, so most women don’t look like them so we get low-key ridiculed for not looking perfect. And though it’s not as bad for men, they to feel the sting of having to look good as women almost always have extraordinarily high standards that men just can’t meet, so they try as hard as possible to look desirable without looking like they’re trying around the guys. That can’t possibly be easy if a woman believes that she only deserves the type of man you see in romantic comedy movies or other fictional works. And I myself am guilty of setting my standards incredibly high, and after the group discussion we’d had in class, I felt very guilty for setting my standards as high as they were as men try much harder than one might think.

All in all, the gender roles placed upon all people in the world are hindering gender equality and not allowing people to be themselves. And though I don’t believe gender roles will ever truly go away, the roles should be minimized so they don’t hinder the equality of the sexes. Women should make the same amount as men per hour. And men and women alike should be able to get any job they so desire--as long as they have the proper qualifications of course--without being judged by their gender. And though, I am trying to speak for men, I know that it is impossible for me to do so, as I am a woman not a man, but I tried my best to speak for the men of my group discussion. So any man reading this, don’t ridicule other men for caring about themselves. Women, don’t ridicule any other woman for not being the same as you. And men and women, understand that neither of us are invincible and by no means perfect.

Works Cited

Doe, Jane. “Re: Question.” Message to Natalia Wingo. 12 November 2015. E-mail.

Group Work. “Difficulties of Men Growing Up.” Group Discussion. 24 November 2015.

Ziv, Stav. “Gender Pay Gap Won’t Close For Another 43 years.” News Week. 16 March 2015.

Web. 25 November 2015.

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